I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
