Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
