My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
