It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
