3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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