so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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