I heard we made out
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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