Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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