New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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