so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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