just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
