youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
