Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
