nut hugger
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
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