why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
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