Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
