I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
