told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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