it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
