dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
