Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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