How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
