Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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