were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
