The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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