real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
