dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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