Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
