Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
