If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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