I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
cat food counts as protein by the way
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
