you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
