I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Buhtt sex?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
