is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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