He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
