yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize