She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm always down for nudity.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
