How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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