im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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