Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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