they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
