I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the day after is always just damage control
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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