i just wanna soil my oats bro
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Randomize