she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
