I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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