threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
