my sisters under your porch take her home
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
