: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
