so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize