so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
