you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
