remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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