good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
my poor anus
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
