when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
