Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
