Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
