well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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