i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
