please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
