Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
