i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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