so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
