Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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