I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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