I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
