Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
