Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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