There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
