office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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